Jealousy is destructive I would rather be Kind

Overcoming Jealousy: A Path to Kindness, Connection, and Self-Awareness

During our journey through life, we come across jealousy, either within ourselves or demonstrated by others. Sometimes, this jealousy comes from those closest to us, causing emotional trauma and manifesting in mental health struggles. It’s essential to understand why jealousy can be so destructive and how we can overcome it to live a more fulfilling and peaceful life.

Why is it important to overcome jealousy?

  • Jealousy as Insecurity:
    “Jealousy is an overwhelming feeling of insecurity about a potential loss or lack of fairness or justice.”
    Jealousy often stems from feelings of inadequacy, whether regarding a relationship, achievement, or possession. It fuels possessiveness, not just towards material things but also people, such as partners, children, or friends.
  • Possessiveness and Its Impact:
    Possessive behaviours from others can bring you down, causing a loss of self-confidence, emotional trauma, and a diminished ability to live freely. Recognising and dealing with jealousy is essential to avoid these negative effects.

What Jealousy Feels Like and Why It Happens

  • Driven by Insecurity:
    “Some people are not very nice and enjoy being horrible to others… they take it out on others.”
    Often, jealousy arises when people fail to confront their own insecurities and instead project their unhappiness onto others. This kind of behaviour can be deeply hurtful and damaging.
  • Making Assumptions Based on Surface Judgements:
    “Some people are quick to make assumptions about us based on appearance or how we sound.”
    Many times, jealousy stems from these snap judgements, where people decide who you are without knowing your story.

How to Avoid Jealousy in Yourself

  1. Cultivate Self-Awareness:
    • Understand your own limitations and emotions. Recognise when jealousy arises and acknowledge it without letting it control you.
    • Quote: “Self-awareness is to know some people push our buttons and the realisation that we control our reaction to their actions.”
  2. Stop Reading Angry or Negative Thoughts:
    • Don’t waste energy on thoughts that are harmful or destructive. Instead, focus on positive, constructive ideas that help you grow.

What to Do When Confronted by Jealousy or Negative Behaviours

  1. Don’t Engage with Negativity:
    • When faced with someone who’s being unkind or possessive, avoid being dragged into their mindset.
    • Quote: “The best way I have found is taking the good and trying to find a way to deal with the bad, avoiding being dragged into their way of behaving or thinking.”
  2. Take the Higher Ground:
    • Remain polite, courteous, and respectful, even when others are not. Their actions and behaviours are not your responsibility.
    • Quote: “Try taking the higher ground by being polite and courteous and stop feeling it’s your fault or problem to fix.”

Balancing Your Energy and Protecting Your Well-being

  • Don’t Take on Other People’s Problems:
    Some people may blame others for their problems or failures. It’s important to recognise that you are not responsible for their actions or emotions.
  • Avoid Isolation:
    Loneliness can be an effect of both internal and external struggles, but it’s important to remember that meaningful connections with others are life-affirming. Building a supportive community is vital.
    • Quote: “I don’t want anyone to be lonely. I know what that’s like.”

Building and Nurturing a Kind Community

  • Surround Yourself with Good People:
    There are kind, supportive people in the world. Reach out, even if it feels difficult at first, and choose the community you want to be part of.
    • Quote: “Remember, there are good people in the world. Reach out, whether it’s next door or down the street. Choose the community you want to live in.”
  • Extend Kindness:
    Practice kindness without judgment. We all carry different stories, and understanding people without jumping to conclusions is essential.
    • Quote: “Kindness is letting people be people.”

The Power of Connection and Kindness

  • Appreciate What You Have:
    Spending more time reflecting, like in nature, or building an online community, can help deepen your appreciation for what you have and create more kindness in your life.
    • Quote: “Caring about where I live makes me kinder, and it certainly makes me happy.”
  • Be Open to Life-Changing Connections:
    People who come into your life may not always know how magnificent they are, but their presence can be transformative.
    • Quote: “Some people are magnificent because they don’t even know how wonderful they are.”

Closing Thought

  • Quote: “How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way.”
    It’s the people we meet, the connections we form, and the kindness we share that make life truly meaningful.

By choosing kindness, self-awareness, and constructive responses, we can overcome jealousy and protect our emotional and mental well-being. Life is about the people we meet along the way, and every encounter is an opportunity to choose love, kindness, and understanding.

Written by Debbie Crouch, 2021 – Art for Wellness

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Posted in Emotional Expressions, Health and wellness, Lifestyle & Selfcare, Public Blog